Frustration
The issue is not feeling it, but what to do with it
If we imagine a boy about 5 years who has just bought a basket full of strawberry ice cream, and the minute the little you drop your ice cream on the floor, what do you think they feel? How will he react? What does or says the accompanying adult?
likely that the child is crying or upset. Lost something I wanted, that is between his hands and liked. In two words, is frustrated.
If an adult comes and says "Quiet small, everything is fine", "No Nothing happened, "" Do not cry, it's just ice cream ", it is likely that instead of feeling better, the child feel even more angry.
Frustration is one of those feelings that is bad publicity. It seems to be "bad" feeling frustrated. The mere thought that someone says "You're frustrated, you can create discomfort.
But frustrated Is that bad? How terrible it is to feel frustration?
From my perspective, I think if there is something that is just around the corner is frustration. Not everything goes as we wish. Examples: I want to leave the sun and rain. I want to earn more money and this month I did not reach the goal. I want to go and I can not travel. I sleep late and I get up to go to work. All of the above are examples of "small" live daily frustrations, perhaps the difference is the way each person handles it.
do not think a sign of maturity and personal growth is not to get frustrated. From another perspective, I think what is interesting in what I do when I play this sensation of not achieved what he wanted, having lost what he had, that things went as I expected, among others.
I have two views about it and both have to see how I go with you on this journey of sensations.
first glance, Where do I put the focus of my attention? "In the situation I leads to frustration or elsewhere? For example, if I could not something I wanted, I can just focus on that goal not reached and thus feel even more frustration. On the other hand, if I expand my look, maybe you can see what about me and find a new answer or a new option.
second thing. How to accompany me in this transition? How am I me in this way? "Helped me and criticize or reprimand me? If I "ill treatment", the negative sentiment may increase. It would be like telling a child that he dropped ice cream was his fault and give a lesson on the incident.
The secret, if you can call in any way, is to discover how I want to walk with me. Understand my frustration and know that there is "something" that I wanted and I have and that this I regret or annoyance generated. Be tolerant with me and give me more support and less criticism.
really the goal is not NOT feel frustrated. But through it the best way to end this way, may have taken some learning from experience and are ready for the next adventure.
text Author: Ramirez Raiza
Gestalt Psychotherapist and Family Constellation Therapist.
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