Household Lubes To Wank With

The company with one employee


For many years this woman had and maintained a multi-company employees. I was so busy with their occupations forgot herself. Sometimes it is not paid salary, years in which there was no profit. There were moments in which to vent conversation was necessary, but preferred to use their ears to care for its employees, those who depended on it. In the end, I was happy. In the background, was unhappy. Anyway, thought it was worth the sacrifice.

Time passed. Your employees were growing, changing, mutating. Others were feeling. Began to need changes. Were giving up. Slowly, one by one. The women, longtime head the company wonderful, almost did not notice the changes. Was immersed in and dedicated to them all they were very happy. His life was more or less alike. Sometimes went unpaid, almost did not pass by his office.

One day, a day that dawned different. The woman came to business, your beautiful company and was puzzled. No one was there. Not a soul. It was all empty. The first thought that the invasion was a surprise. I could not believe. He reached into his book he had used and only one in the list: herself.

After the surprise came the sadness. She was lonely. Profoundly alone. And had nowhere to meet and who resolve their labor issues. Now the business not only depended on it, but it was only for her.

was a while before I could enjoy this new one-man company that had become his life. The day I realized that the income was all for it at the moment, the day he learned that the utilities no longer have to share the day he realized he had little time for herself and her needs, that day began to enjoy his own company, his own story, his own life.

NOTE:

This story is an analogy of someone instead of dedicating to live its own destiny for the sake of their own, decided to take over his family for many years, forgetting herself.

After making a movement of family constellations, business employees ran out and she began to take charge of their own destiny. First, in pain, then, with much love by her and by yours.

Those who love us smile when we are happy.

The love we cry when we cry.

sacrifice does not grow to the family. The movement itself!

text Author: Raiza Ramírez

Why Does Water Move In The Respirometer Pipettes

Family: Membership

In a constellation in which I had recently the opportunity to participate came a very beautiful image.

The patient (an adult) tells how much dedication and "fight" to help their brothers and in general the members of his family. Endeavors, we show people how good it performs all actions (even things that they do not ask). And still unhappy. Still feel bad. And still do not see the results of their titanic struggle.

in when she approached his brothers, they moved away. If she went to the north, they went south. If she went south, they went north. This approach left the bewildered woman. "Why move away from me? What I do not watch? If I just want to help them ..." were some of his phrases.

addition, we added a representative secret (no one knew who he was). It was the fate of the patient. The representative of the fate of the patient stated that he wanted to go and that was something that made heavy will lie on the floor. After a few minutes, sat on the floor. I had no strength. I was absolutely crushed. The client or patient looked at his destination, was watching the members of his family.

Beyond the "solution" in this constellation or the movement system, there are two important aspects that I would highlight:

The first is the powerful idea that it is not necessary to fight too much nor too hard to belong to our family. We have this card and the membership gained from mommy and daddy make love and she becomes pregnant. It is a card that gives me just flat this planet and that, even if you delete it, spend it, abuse it is always current and serve. Not much to do to belong to my family. Only agree to it as is.

The second thought is about this so important that it is "looking at my destination." If I'm so involved in the fate of the other or others and do not look at me, what happens to my destination? What are the consequences? The interesting thing is that makes you do, nobody will take care of my fate for me, or maybe yes, someone who loves me a lot (like a brother or a son) and that any price.

If the family is an orchestra and everyone plays an instrument ... find your instrument, your own, own, that you touched. And play it better than anyone! Dale with all your strength that is your destination. Do not try to play the instrument of another. Too much for you.

One last idea: take with pride and dignity the card that we had in our family. It is unique and gave us the best: those who came before us.

Raiza Ramirez

Why Do My Cookies Always Burn

secured in Family Constellation Therapist


After a few years (not many) of experience working with Family Constellations dare write me some ideas role facilitator of applying this therapy, either for groups or individually. They are reflections based on experience and especially in work with training groups. It is my humble view. No absolute truth.



One of the first phrase that comes to mind when I think of a Family Constellation therapist is as follows: "The starry puts 50% at work and the other 50% places the patient. " This is a good start to the query.

Technically there are several ways to make a constellation. I think the style and resources of each therapist are what make the difference in each case. And there is no similar cases.

View each person as unique in its subject and his family as something unique is perhaps one of the best tools we have to deal with a case. It is important not to take anything for granted.

Another important ideas is where I am as a therapist. No more than my patient, ever. It is he who knows its history and the account as you can. I'm just an ant in front of your system. Perfect as your system is.

My work is about looking sympathetically at the front and I have in knowing you have done your best for your family, even from blind love, children and the blind loyalty that characterizes systemic entanglements.

The first thing is not to judge. At any time. There are no good or bad. The threads are woven each family as they can. And so it is perfect. Work through the interview or questions has more to do with finding repetitions, see who or what was excluded and how the family system found its way to keep compensation.

There are two questions I usually do at the beginning of work and that I love. They are not original or my creation. I have borrowed from people who know more than me, as Carola Castillo and Joan Garriga.

The questions are simple and complex at the same time:
1) What is your theme or do you want to watch?
2) If Constellation do, what you will achieve, What will change or be different?

Once the interview, selected the topic and discussed with the patient, the therapist selects representatives with which the work begins. There is a principle I like to use and I learned in training: the less the better. This means that while fewer representatives choose, may be best for the job.

When we have representatives located, the work begins. Either individual or group constellation, it is important that the system is given time to begin the movement. This is where it is important to the waiting and observation.

is essential to see the body movements of the representatives who are in the constellations. And it is very important to connect to work to perceive what emotions can manifest themselves at work.

Personally, I think the work is to a large extent phenomenological. That is, we follow the movement as it is happening. Just follow it. Through observation.

Leaving aside the fear and transform it into compliance. Leaving aside the intentions the coming of what we think is "the solution" and transform them into a nod and surrender to what is bigger than us. And accompany the patient look at this look. Not explain anything. Sometimes if the mind does not understand, we're doing very well. This work, said Bert Hellinger, who is to the soul and the great family soul. We respect

movements are given. This is part of agreeing to another system. We do not seek a happy ending in the constellation, despite the words of resolution indicating than for the whole system is a little better than when we started. Following

movements, integration of new representatives (or no) and new movements of the system, are the words of resolution. While there are some widely used phrases in the work of Constellation, I have integrated the possibility that the representatives or the client want and say what you say is born.

One of the "secrets" of the constellations is that the resolution should work phrases for the entire system and we know that the phrase referred to, when you pronounce person after a deep breath, report says relief or feel better than before. That's the job. Without intending it to happen. Only going to happen what has to happen.

The closure of work also depends on each therapist and style. Some people end up with a sentence of reflection or a task. Others may use an anchor to what was at work, this means, a sentence that is recorded on the client.

Personally, I usually check or check with the patient how they feel about their work. And I would point you can ask a question and I may answer or not. This is not an act of arrogance, is that the work is studded explain what was done. The movement is invisible and powerful. And it carries.

There are many questions that may arise, especially for people who are starting to go this route. The best way to answer these questions is working. With respect and without fear. Slowly. Far reaching and as far as I can be my patient. No forcing the bar and wanting to perform a particular movement. Leaving aside the intention is the best guarantee that will work as it should be.

The system is chatty or gossipy enough to force it. Our job really is to have open eyes and heart, to accompany non-judgmental, intentions and with great respect to those who lovingly calls us to help us look.

In short, respect, consent, no judgments, no fear, eyes open and realize that my patient and his destiny go hand in hand. And that my destiny and I do too.



text Author: Raiza Ramírez
Gestalt Psychotherapist and Family Constellation Therapist.

Draining A Swollen Finger

be and appear


recently talked with a patient on these two words and the importance of their relationship: being and seeming.

And it is one thing and another SEEM TO BE. It seems simple, is it really? Am I or look like? Am I and I sound? Do I look like but I'm not? Does not look like what I am? Do I look like one thing and another?

is much more than a pun. It has to do with me and my being and being in the world.

For example: A woman can be the sweetest and most sensitive of the world and look very hard on the outside. How are the people who are watching? "With what the woman is or what it seems? How does she stay or how you identify it? "With what is or what it seems?

Sometimes we need so we seem to forget the Self. And where can we do this?

if I sound but I am not, is a facade. If I am But do not look, I'm still hiding behind the facade. Where am I and where I want to be?

being has to do with my essence. With what looks to my nature, at least at this time. It has to do with what seems to me, so I feel comfortable or comfortable. With the vibrate or vibrates with me. I do not always show as I am, I can choose and show part of me.

The apparently has to do with "my facade. What I appear. Not necessarily seem to me to be. Or rather, it may seem to me to be. Who does this? Me. I choose.

we go through life being one thing and seem another. We can also choose to have our BEING and more join our opinion. And I can be, knowing that I am and choose how much you show to others and when I do.

What you choose today?

text Author: Raiza Ramírez
Psychotherapist and Gestalt Therapist Family Constellations

The Lever On Iron Board

Victims and perpetrators

No peace until the victims and perpetrators are not.

Both are relieved when they manage to be together. And so, the system reverts to equilibrium.

Recently, a friend died. And my personal exercise, looking at his coffin, was seen next to the person who killed him. Although it may sound harsh or weird, it was my best balancing act. They should be together. This was decided. And my best act of respect and love for your system is to look at them together, without trial.

Looking systemically:

What happens when a perpetrator is excluded? An uncle of the family X killed a man for many years. He went to jail and none of the members of his family wanted to visit, did not talk about it, felt ashamed and was excluded.

In another family, the Y, a man was killed and became a victim. The pain was so great that there was no talk of this subject. Is silent on the circumstances.

In each of these families there is an imbalance, an empty place. In the X family, the excluded is the perpetrator. In the family and the victim is excluded. What happens next?

In later generations, and to achieve balance, someone in your family look for the others it was hard to watch. And then, a family member X will look for a perpetrator, to make room for this guy murderer who was excluded. And a family member And look for a victim to its own system.

X and Y are found and the inevitable happens. And kills X. On behalf of this family loyalty and invisible each. Thus, and only then, once again victim and perpetrator can be together.

How do I fix this mess?

Giving rise to both: to the victims and perpetrators in your system. Honoring those who gave their lives looking for an excluded or watching something that no other could see. With love and pain, let the dead on the side of the dead. So that the living can do something with their lives.

Watching him, nodding to the fate of another, knowing that he died or killed is also a member and has its place.

"I leave in death. With love and pain. I honor your destination. Please look at me with love if I stay alive and do a little different. You look and look at your perpetrator. Both have a place in my heart "

Author of text: Ramirez Raiza

Gestalt Psychotherapist and Family Constellation Therapist