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manipulator and manipulated: Two Sides of the Same Coin Ideas


Handling I find it a very interesting human process. Especially because I think all human beings, once we turn to this way of being in the world and treat me and the next.

First: What is handling?

Attached to the Gestalt theory and language: manipulating means transforming "something" (situation, thing or person) so that it becomes what I want. With an additional element, instead of using "my resources", use other resources.

latter is what makes or characterizing the handling: DO NOT USE MY RESOURCES, use the other. Do not use my resources either because I do not own them or simply because I do not move around and make another move.

How do I use the resources of another?

From the look gestalt, one of the characteristic forms used in the manipulation is to put a "mask" and act from there. I become a victim, responsible, a diva, in a poor, a dictator, among others. And from this role, "play" with me and with others.

And for example, instead of telling someone: "I want water, please give me a glass of water"

I say, "You who are so beautiful and bountiful ... and me I can not get out of this chair ... I really want to take a little water? "

Although it seems a very basic example, in the bottom of the manipulative phrase is the basis of this linkage: I put on a mask, I act from there, try to use your resources instead of mine and reach my achieving goals or satisfy my need.

manipulator and manipulated

In this course of action and being in the world, the manipulator is not alone, you need to allow another to manipulate. Being perfect is the key weapon: one says and the other does. Both in a perfect game in which both are needed.

Both end up being two sides of the same coin.

The manipulator can believe (truly) do not have the resources to meet their needs and achieve their goals. And therefore, needs the other to get closer to what you want.

and other property of the manipulator is to put this mask or works from this role, it is not able to make a direct request the other person, for fear often receive no or a negative response. Before exposure to the rejection of this product.

The manipulated by hand, may suffer from similar issues to handle. In what sense? The purchase manipulated the role of the other and can become truly believe that your correspondent can not reach your goal. And from there, feel that helps.

Likewise, it is difficult to give no for an answer. If he says no, the consequences can be terrible for him and may include "loss" to this person that they also need.

Between the two it creates a link type "key and lock. "They fit perfectly. One has what the other needs.

solution?

A link between manipulator and manipulated may work for long. As long as both get what they need.

The problem occurs when one of the two lets you operate this link. When manipulated, for example, begins to say no.

One possible solution to this link is manufactured in a more healthy, point to the following:

+ Making the manipulator realize the role they used to meet their needs.

+ Getting the handler to take an inventory of the resources it has to meet their needs.

+ If it really does not have the resources, show you can ask for and get close to another directly. And that may be exposed to a negative without implying a total loss.

In the case of handling:

+ Making the manipulated realize the role that uses the other to bond with him. And you can look at the role he takes on this link.

+ Getting the handler can take the risk of saying that indirect requests not to another.

+ Make it to see the manipulation that the manipulator has the resources to meet their needs.

+ Make it to see the manipulation that can have a relationship with the other based on interdependence rather than "I will fix your problems."

manipulation can be a beautiful and wonderful. That we can all learn. Maybe we can start to see which side of the story we are. Maybe sometimes we are manipulated and other manipulated. The important thing is not to be in, but to see that we are there, to get out.

Another text link to the theme: I manipulate

text Author: Raiza Ramirez

Gestalt Psychotherapist and Constellations Therapist Family

Scaricare Programma Fsf Pokemon

What is loyalty? Loving those who love me? Or to love I want love, love me or not? What do I look? "Followers, sycophants, students or just make contact from my heart with another heart for a moment ... that our meeting last?

I have been fortunate to have wonderful teachers. And all I have left. All I'm gone. To make my way and do it differently.

I have been fortunate to have great teachers. All I have left to go. To do it my way. They do it to theirs. And it's perfect that way.

am a learner of life. I bundle up your child in it, I get under her skirt. That is the teacher who stays with me, until I abandon it. As it should be.

meetings sometimes lasting one second, one day a year, two centuries. The disagreements are similar.

I been so lucky that people have come to my life and then is gone, as it should be.



And nobody has the truth in their hands, because the truth is like the colors: everyone sees as seen. Why is my green has to be like yours?

Knowledge is in the air. If you breathe deep, I can get.
Knowledge does not belong to me. Is outside. It's bigger than you and me, perhaps the only difference is that one of them saw it first, nothing else.

Everyone who do what you can with him. That if, that everyone carry your own bag. Do not want anyone upload mine, and I load the other. Unless both so wish, for a while.

I think the responsibility is much more than look. You look with eyes like fried eggs. You breathe that I looked. Is to integrate it into my cell. And then there is making me live by it.



You do yours. And I mine. I let you do your thing. You let me do my thing.
The planet is still immense. It is water, waves, sand and coral. And to fish on for you and me.

The spiral never ends. So no one can take the flag and say "I started." The spiral has no beginning either.

And all fit. All. No one will miss the party. He who does not go, do not dance. Do not complain later.

Each class I take, but do not tell anyone, I wear the hat as an apprentice. What I, what I give is never in vain. Because every look, word or smile, I get my fill. And hug me to feel and then release the arms and continue to deliver.

no teacher without students. No student without a teacher. The duo is essential. And we both know so much! Both can sing the best song but not the same.

And all fit. All. Anyone leave the party. Which will not eat cake or does your party favors. Nobody is going to save.

When I realized how small I am, I threw the meter and I stopped comparing myself with other dwarfs or giants. If the other is bigger than me, I look for a chair to look into his eyes. If the other is smaller, I sit on the floor and look into your eyes. But I miss the smallness of the measure. I get lost in the greatness of the game.



Welcome everyone who has to go. Goodbye to all those who want to leave.
Thanks to those who were in the past, those in the present and those yet to come.

at heart!